sadness continues to linger like a shadow

So what I wrote about my neighbours being chill LOFL I take that back, shoulda stuck with my gut feeling. ALOT of stuff went down, along with alot of yelling and confrontation and some fist fights but 3 of them moved sooooo its good enough for now I guess. Also I removed my entire family from facebook because Im sick of their excuses and what not. Glad to know they talk shit about me when Im not around to defend myself but whatever thats life I guess. They havent been in my life much since Ive been alive so I shouldnt have expected them to be now or to be invited to family reunions. Neils got a new job with bullshit ridiculous hours,which I hate. I think I just hate life. Everything is gray. I really dont see a purpose for my exsistance. I CRY EVERYDAY. Im not happy. Im not happy and I dont know how to fix it. I sat in my room and listened to Acoustic #3 by the Goo Goo Dolls like a hundred times. Which doesnt mean much to most people but when I was in grade 7 and if I got kicked out of my house or left cause of the fighting I would go to my best friend Kate’s house and listen to that song in her room over and over again until I feel asleep. I just know its not “normal” to be this sad. I think Neil feels responsible but he shouldnt, its a life time of sadness and issues before he was even around. Maybe I needs meds for my emotionally fucktarded head… Maybe I should go back out west and get out of this grimey ass city. Happiness where art thou?? Anyways I hope you all are having a better time finding yourselves and happiness then myself. Peace!!

Published in: on August 4, 2011 at 9:51 am  Comments (4)