Hey White Liar, The Truth Comes Out A Little At A Time

Ugh, I hate my life today. It started last night. Ok anyways this guy, I will refer to him as Douchebag cause thats what he’s listed in my phone as, has the goddamn audacity to tell me hes going to get the cops to call me. UMM WHY BUD?! Cause I told you to step up and be a mother fuckin man and pay your child’s babysitter that you promised you would, that just so happens to be my friend who has been royaly fucked around with over money the past 2 months?? I didnt threaten him so I was like ok whatever bud,good luck with that. That originally pissed me off considering dont tell somebody “I have your money” and then be a no show. Like WTF?! She needed her paper. Anyways its sad to say but it did kinda brighten my life up cause Ive been hearing so much about this douche so getting mouthy a lil bit made me happy. Im not going to get into any details on here but trust me people, this guy is a complete douchebag. COMPLETE!

               So after that this girl who shall remain nameless tells me one thing and then tells my friend who is also a mutual friend a totally different story, they never ever seem to add up. NEVER. I dont know if shes lying or if she gets so baked she doesnt know what shes talking about but still its ridiculous and a headache. I dont care how pathetic the truth is,I will have way more respect for people who tell me the truth even if it makes them look kinda bad then have somebody lie to my face or threw text. Theres just so much BS and drama in my life right now thats not needed and its funny cause I never complain, I write. I dont bitch at them. Mainly because I think it gives me something to write about.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   People dont understand fully that when the have shit going on in their life and you bring other people into it, your bringing that into your friends life also. Im not talking about teenage drama childish shit, but yes that does apply, but the emotional baggage of the whole situation. Seeing your friend(s) break down and cry and just be miserable about whats going on in their life hurts, because you know thats not who the are. I dont think too many people realize that. I hate seeing people break down. Seeing that side of weakness in somebody. Seeing a friend be so vulnerable. Sooo much stuff has been going on these past couple days and none of it has been too good. With pretty much everybody I know. I dont know how to fix people. I can try. I can fix most situations or make them easier. But as for a person?? A person is hard to fix, especially when they’re tired of basically everything. Life in this city is awful. Horrible. Hate this place. I have lived all across Canada and I hate the place I grew up. I only come back cause my family is here. If I had no family I would never return. People here are very easily depressed. Our suicide rate is ridiculous for a small city. RIDICULOUS. So many people jump the Reversing Falls Bridge, if you dont know what that is, Google it. Waste of life. Its a shame. Suicide is so selfish. I dont care if somebody doesnt like that comment its a true fuckin statement. Its selfish. Youre not happy here so you end your life, do what you want and hurt everybody close to you?? Yup that sounds selfish to me….                                                


I just dont know what to do anymore. I want everybody to be happy. Thats what I want. For EVERYBODY, even little pukes that I cant stand, to be happy. The world will be better off if it had a tad bit more motherfuckin happiness in it. Really though. Im gonna be happy for a week straight. Not gonna let anything bother me. If I see somebody I dont wanna be around Im gonna act like they dont exsist and continue on with my new found happiness and Im gonna see how improved my emotional level is gonna be. Somedays Im emotionally Fuck-tarded. Its crazy. I dont wanna be but I have a hormonal imbalance thanx to type 1 diabetes and my useless, Im just hanging around doin nothing, pancreas.

I gotta stop enabling my dysfunctional friends. I will be the first to admit that if somebody I know is roughing it and I know they have a weakness that makes them happy, weather it be alcohol or drugs, I will get it for them. Maybe Im just really hoping it will brighten their life up even if it is only temporarily. I know Im not right by any means doing so. I know this.  UGH FML… I just dont know what to do anymore. Drugs and or alcohol is ONLY a temp fix, and not even a fix all the time. So I gotta stop offering. Maybe the whole city needs anti depressants…who knows. I sure as hell dont. I really just needed to vent and never expected so much to just come out. By anymeans I personally dont have ANY problems with alcohol or drugs. And dont get on me about weed cause I dont classify Marijuana as a “drug”. Maybe thats the problem. Maybe people ARENT smoking enough of it and the ones who dont should try it out. Im just saying. Hold up,wait a minute maybe EVERYBODY needs to put some kush up in it…

Sometimes I just wanna wish this life away. Be somewhere else. Different enviroment. Different place and different faces.Looking into moving to Grand Manan. Anyways folks Im done with the bitching for now cause I gotta make a post about my kitty lol so peace easies and hopefully your lives are full of happiness. PEACE!!

Published in: on June 7, 2011 at 5:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

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